weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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