Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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