I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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