69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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