i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
