I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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