Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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