FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
