Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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