yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
