In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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