What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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