last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
