dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
