You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
