Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
