you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
