Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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