Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
