your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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