I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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