did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
