Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
