so explain again why im purple
no
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
