If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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