I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize