ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
