hotel room ftw
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
