do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
