you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
