i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
