I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
