its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
