Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
