do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
