woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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