Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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