i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
