We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
