he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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