I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
