Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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