Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize