i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
