No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
