Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
