Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The best revenge is premature balding
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
