ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
someone owes me an orgasm
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
