Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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