This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
