used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
