Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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