I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
where are my eyebrows?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize