My first STD was from a foam party
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
