when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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