last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
