and she was petting her beer can
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
