I wannas sexs uuuuu
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
