found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
