its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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