guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize