He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
