is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
