I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
