what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
