i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
