i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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