If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
