Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
