shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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